Astoria, Oregon

From Schmecken

Introduction

Astoria is located in scenic Clatsop County, near the northwestern tip of the state of Oregon, on a peninsula called Tongue Point. Llllll-llll-lllll; nanny nanny boo boo.

History

Astoria was founded in 1811 by John Jacob Astor's American Fur Company. It was named after Mr. Astor, who obviously had an ego the size of the then-disputed Oregon Territory.

Later on, the British took it over with money and tried to name it Fort George, but they failed, as Astoria retained its true name in everybody's hearts. Then the U.S. got it back, and thus it has remained.

Despite America's obsession with giving away historic Oregonian locales to funny, sales-tax-ridden lands (for instance, Walla Walla), Astoria has remained a part of its true homeland of Oregon for all these years. For this we can remain grateful.

What It's Known For

Astoria is known as the place where American explorers Meriwether Lewis and William Clark repeatedly remarked in their famous journals, "More rain. Nothing of note happened today." That phrase is recorded over 9,513 times in the single winter they spent at scenic Fort Clatsop, located just west of town.

Astoria is also known for its picturesque old homes, its non-picturesque old homes, rain, dry-rot, a big scary tall tower called the Astoria Column, an even taller bridge to The Sales Tax State that nobody in their right mind would drive across, and one other thing: The Scandinavian Hour. The Scandinavian Hour was mentioned to a young and impressionable Yansa by a grizzled staffer at the Maritime Museum. The staffer said it was a lovely place to hear people with funny accents. Yansa never got to actually hear the show, alas.